Spring cleaning?

What was it they say about spring time?

Oh yes, it's spring cleaning. It's that thing everyone knows about, but no-one wants to go anywhere near ... unless you're Monica Gellar.

It's that time when the cupboards all get emptied and everything gets washed, polished and put back. The fridge, washing machine and everything else on the floor gets moved so that you can clean underneath it.

All in all and on the face of it, it's very necessary, but it's a chore that  is something we'd rather not do.

Am I right?

Yesterday, we did spring cleaning.

It's something I'd rather not have happen again.

At least not the way it happened.

You see we have a cat - which I suspect, is something many of you will know already, but our cat is notorious for getting in, under, behind and on top of stuff. It doesn't matter what we say or do, he gets where no other cat has set paw and frankly, sometimes it drives us to distraction.

Ever since the kitchen was finished - well, as far as we have got it - he's been getting under and behind the cupboards. Sometimes, he even manages to wriggle in behind the washing machine, which we never thought anything of ... until yesterday.

Pen had work to do and I tried my best to a) stay out of trouble and b) get some writing done, so after lunch, she turned on the washing machine, said good-bye and went back to work, while I went back to writing.

During my spell in front of the computer, Biscuit made his presence felt and although I don't like turning him away, having him tearing around on the desk trying to catch the cursor and potentially wrecking my nice monitor, I was being very reserved in removing him and suggesting he might want to find something else to do.

In the meantime, the washing machine sat in its corner of the kitchen and chugged away, minding its own business.

By about four-thirty, I began thinking of Pen's return and whether or not to make tea and have it ready or wait a little longer - not knowing when she would actually return. To my horror, back comes Biscuit, jumps straight on my lap ... very soggy indeed.

"What the...?" I exclaimed and dumped him unceremoniously on the floor.

Moments later, it occurred to me that he shouldn't be wet. He's a cat after all, and the last thing most cats like is being wet.

"Perhaps I left the toilet seat up," I mused, and began a search for what he'd managed to get into this time.

The upstairs toilet had its lid down and the bath showed no signs of dusty pud-marks, so I trundled downstairs.

"Oh shit!!!" I exclaimed.

The entire ground floor was under about half an inch of water.

I must confess, I was absolutely gobsmacked. I wanted to blame Biscuit, but in fact, it was my fault for not having made sure that the builders had the little 'U'-shaped bit of plastic to hold the waste pipe in the drain when they put the washing machine in place.

In all his scrabbling about behind the washing machine, Biscuit had dislodged the waste from the washing machine and it had quietly pumped all the water from the entire wash cycle over the floor. The kitchen and shop were both under water and as I began mopping, I realised I needed help - and not the sort Biscuit was offering.

I tried as best I could until Pen arrived, but mostly succeeded only in moving the water around; very little of it being picked up by the mop.

It took both Pen and I an hour and a half to clear it all up, but in the meantime, the fridge came out, the cooker was moved, as was the washing machine - all mopped and thoroughly cleaned before being replaced.

Once finished, our floor was spotless. I'd like to say it shone, but that's not true as the tiles on the floor are not glossy anyway and only shine under half an inch or so of water. So the fact they went back to their matt finish was actually a plus point.

Having replaced the the above piece and wedged the pipe firmly down the drain before replacing the washing machine, I have all digits crossed and fervently hope it won't happen again, but it got the job done!

Les Anciens combattants - Passais la Conception

In the centre of our village square, is a monument to all those from the village that lost their lives during the first and second World Wars. It's been beautifully maintained and means a lot to everyone.

Thanks to making the rather serendipitous decision to feed the animals at the farm early, we got to see this ceremony for ourselves and were able to take some pictures to share with you.



The day had been partly cloudy, which is why some of the photos look a little lacklustre, but it didn't detract one iota from the atmosphere and if you click on the pictures, you will be able to see them full-sized.

Les Anciens combattants

The standard bearers marched around the statue led by the musicians ...

... and then came to a halt encircling the monument.

The crowd begun to grow and when everyone was standing at attention, the speeches began.

As the villagers looked on, the dignitaries present moved around the assembled ex-servicemen and shook hands before wreaths were laid at the foot of the monument.

Once everyone had sung "La Marseillaise", the parade concluded.

There was something very real about this. Perhaps it was because it didn't appear to be one of those highly rehearsed affairs we see so often. Maybe it was because people from all ages and walks of life were involved, or maybe it was simply that it was from the heart; a single village paying tribute to those who had given their lives.

One thing is for sure: it wasn't a solemn affair, but people showing respect for their fallen comrades and confirming that their lives were not given in vain.

What's cookin'?

It's funny how some people have to do one job and that's it, but for us, it's pretty much whatever's set for us.

We've got to know quite a number of people over the relatively short period of time we've been here and it's led to us having to do a variety of things.

Take Saturday for instance.

Saturday was the first day for feeding the animals - hence the Bonzo's Jolity Farm (above).

It's not like we haven't fed animals before, I mean, who hasn't? This time however, the animals were about thirty chickens and cockerels, two ponies, five pot-bellied pigs, two doves, a ferret and about a dozen or so rabbits.

They have to be fed daily and while it's not really enough for both of us to do, I just couldn't resist being able to get to know to them. Surprisingly, it's rained every time we've been round there, but it hasn't put a dampener on the fun at all.

I'm sure I'll feel differently if it does it all week however...

Today has marked the beginning of a new line of work - that of cooking.

Saturday morning, Pen was approached by a friend who asked her simply, "Can you cook?"

Pen replied, "Yes," and was then barraged with all sorts of information about cooking for her husband on the farm (there are a lot of farms and farmers round here!) and instantly had to come up with the ingredients for a number of recipes that would do for lunches for said farmer and his assistant.

Pen provided the woman with a list of ingredients and suggestions for the dinners and the desserts and she went away, having asked Pen and I to be at her house for about nine-thirty Monday morning.

So today - Monday - as arranged, we went round to the farm to begin cooking and discovered there was a problem.

Ostensibly, we were there to make several dishes - including desserts - but we were to discover that this French farmer didn't like garlic, peppers, pepper and a whole host of other condiments, herbs, spices and ingredients, all of which made our recipes a little awkward.

On the menu for today was:

• Cottage pie - similar to shepherd's pie, but with minced beef instead of minced lamb
• Bolognese
• Cheesecake
• Apple crumble

Now these are all pretty simple dishes and with a little sleight of hand, the meat for the Bolognese and Cottage Pie could be done together and split. It's not ideal, but it did at a pinch and time wouldn't allow for the full three to four hours of cooking.

However, to my utter horror, many of the ingredients I would have thought standard were not allowed and to Pen's dismay, the woman hadn't bought the biscuits for the cheesecake - any biscuits - on account of the fact that she read the ingredients and decided she didn't like them, but provided no alternatives, of which there are many.

So the Bolgnese didn't have any garlic, paprika, pepper, capsicums (red or green peppers) and the onions had to be really finely chopped or left large enough for him to pick out.

The cheesecake wasn't and the apple crumble had no cinnamon, allspice or anything else in it other than apple.

This was a big test for us, as tried and tested recipes suddenly tasted really bland, but it's what they wanted.

Apparently, the apple crumble was a big success, but we await the verdict on the other recipes...

Our first anniversary

Who'd have thought we'd have lasted a year? It certainly doesn't feel that long at all, but then life does appear to go by more quickly as you get older, doesn't it? I must admit, we were a little apprehensive about moving over here and whilst it hasn't been easy we have enjoyed it immensely.

Achieved this year ...

We read somewhere that it's one thing to holiday somewhere, but quite another to live there, so I think one of the biggest achievements has to have been getting here in the first place. It's really easy to sit and dream about doing something, but quite another to actually get up and do it, especially when it means stepping so far outside of one's comfort zone.

By that, I suppose I mean the language barrier. Apart from Pen practicing French along to Michel Thomas CD's, we didn't have much of the language between us. I was able to ask for things in shops, but my grasp of French did not stretch to understanding the replies I might have got.

Once, I decided to be brave and go and get the bread from the Boulangerie over the road. I practiced like mad in the hundred or so metres between our house and the shop and thought I'd done exceptionally well when I bade the ladies, "Good morning," and requested, "Un pain, s'il vous plait."

Their replies however left me standing there feeling completely lost ... and getting more lost by the second.

Dominique, amid gales of laughter, later described my attempt to Penny with, "... his eyes got bigger and bigger behind his glasses.

Now, I can actually converse to a degree, though not nearly as well as Pen can.

We also managed to get the car through the Controle Technique, registered in France and given its Carte Gris. This was a lot simpler than many on the ex-pat sites led us to believe although there was an element of luck involved, because we got the Certificate of Conformity in English and not French and many have been rejected as a result. Another of those could have cost us a month and another 200€.

Our house has been completely rewired, re-plumbed and we converted one of our bedrooms into two rooms: a bathroom and an office. That was no mean feat I can tell you and took the entire month of September to get through. Still, it's done now, so its one less thing to think about.

The house also benefited from a bit of a makeover with some exterior rendering to repair some holes in the wall. The kitchen and new bathroom got redecorated as did one of the upstairs rooms, the old bathroom - which is now a toilet and washroom - and the downstairs toilet. The hallway got a coat of paint downstairs and the full textured treatment from the first to the top floor, plus, the bathroom floor, first floor hall floor and stairs down to the ground floor have been stripped and waxed. It looks really nice, but now we squeak when we walk up or down them and we can no longer sneak up on the cat when he's somewhere he shouldn't be.

We had hoped to be able to change out some of the windows for double-glazed jobs, but the money wouldn't stretch. Even if we had the money, thanks to a clerical error, we don't have certain very important bits of paperwork to get the planning permission to do it. It's taking an absolute age for them to come back with it, but we're assured it will come. Of course, none of our windows are standard anyway, so apart from about four, each of the other ten windows and the shop door would have to be made to measure and could cost us as much as ten grand in total.

Oh well. Maybe in another lifetime.

We registered ourselves as a BIC Micro-Enterprise, which means we have formed a little company. The red tape is something to behold, but that's the same for everything in France. There's more paperwork than you could shake a forest-full of sticks at, but we now have a petit enterprise and our business, while not great, is growing steadily.

The work we've been getting is very varied. This week we have been feeding some animals at a farm and earlier, we even got to cook for a farmer and his helper. As well as that, we have gardened, mowed and even pressure-washed the outside of a neighbour's house prior to it being repainted. Had we had a ladder, we'd have got that job too, but well ... Okay, me and ladders don't go together very well at all, but I would have made the effort - honest!

In the relatively short time we've been here, we've met more people and had more of a social life than we've had in absolute years. We've been to dinner with our neighbours, voted in the local election for Maire, participated in the Vide Grenier, had some of our neighbours round to dinner, been out and about to various functions and generally had a much better time than we've had in ages.

Whilst what we have achieved may not seem like much, we have to keep reminding ourselves that things don't work the same here as they do in England. The language is different and the way things are done is much, much different too. To begin with, everything seemed so scary and while we're not exactly blase about doing things we haven't done before, we are getting used to it.

I have to admit that Pen does most of that sort of thing, but that's only because she's so much better at this lingo thing than I am. I understand a great deal more than I used to, but conversing is still a bit of a nightmare.

All things considered, it's been the best year of our lives thus far and we're going to do all we can to ensure it continues.

So, here's to the next twelve months ...