The return of the prodigal pussy

Sunday 22 Nov: 11am

We had just finished a long week of work and were looking forward to having Sunday off. It's not often that we do nothing, but on this particular day, it seemed like we had earned it.

The morning was cold and for a treat, we decided to light the wood burner, put our feet up and get into some TV. So while I prepared the fire, Pen went to the garage to get a few extra logs.

We had no idea that the back door had not been properly shut and since she had also pulled the curtain across the door to keep the draft out, we never actually saw Biscuit as he made his escape.

About two hours later, I opened the curtain and discovered the back door ajar.

"Shit!" I exclaimed and ran round the house like a demented idiot calling out, "Biscuit! Biscuit!" and with no sign of our cat, both of us went straight into panic mode.

We were out for ages, scouring the neighbourhood for our little cat, but with no success and Pen was beside herself. Well, we both were.

I put out posts on several lost pet sites on the internet, with descriptions of Biscuit, while Pen phoned people we knew in the area for them to keep their eyes open in case they spotted him.

Of course, everyone was commiseratory, wishing us "bon courage", "good luck" and other words of hope, but as the days went by, we were beginning to think that whether he had nine lives or not, he wouldn't survive out there in the big, wide world and wasn't coming back.

We were told by a friend that when she had moved house and let her cats out, they would take three or four days to return, so once again, hope was rekindled and we redoubled our efforts to try and find him. 

We posted posters of Biscuit in the shops and pharmacy and hoped against hope that someone would spot him and call us. We even left our kitchen window open, so that if he did find his way home, he would have a way into the house, but all it did was make the place bloody freezing for us.

Pen went out at around twilight one evening with a bag of Catisfactions (known as Dreamies in the UK) as just the noise of the bag could bring him from anywhere in the house. Down a little alley in the village, about twenty cats appeared, but by then and with no torch, Pen couldn't see whether Biscuit was among them.

So every evening thereafter, we went out several times in the hopes that we would be able to see him and draw him away from them and get him to come home.

... but we had no luck at all.

Living in quite a rural location, our village, whilst sporting many amenities, is relatively small and has many potential hiding places. Finding a small cat like Biscuit would have been more down to luck than judgement and even if we were just a few feet from him, he could have gone unnoticed.

Also, our village, like most other rural villages here in Normandy has a 50 kph speed limit. Nevertheless, it appears that speed limits are nothing more than suggestions to the population of rural France. People whip down the main road like their lives depended upon it, with little - if any - regard for the lives of people, let alone little animals like Biscuit. We have lost count of how many cat pancakes we have seen as a result of speeding drivers.

Day six

We had all but lost hope by the end of day five and by then, the idea that Biscuit had fallen foul of a lunatic driver, one of the many birds of prey or even another cat was a very real possibility.

We weren't prepared to give up, but our efforts were beginning to seem more and more futile with each passing day and what was worse, no-one had called to say they'd seen him.

So on the morning of day six, we had virtually accepted the fact that whilst we wanted nothing more than to have Biscuit back in our home, it probably wasn't going to happen. We had resigned ourselves to being Biscuitless to such a degree that we hadn't even left the window open before going off to work.

By eleven, we decided to make coffee for us and the man who was laying the flooring, but we had run out of what we'd taken with us, plus there was no milk either.

I was sent home to get some more as well as a few other bits and pieces and on my return, a little ginger cat crossed my path.

"Biscuit?" I said, not really believing it could possibly be him.

Immediately, the little cat turned and in a loud, clear voice, "Meowed", before he running straight towards me. I bent down and picked him up to head for the house we were working in, all the while, Biscuit sat on my shoulder, meowing louder than ever.

Pen couldn't believe her eyes and after lots of stroking and cuddling of the cat, we brought him home. He got a bowl of food, which he munched his way through without pausing for breath, so I imagine he didn't eat much during his time away.

Pen went back to work, but I stayed to keep Biscuit company. She'll be back shortly and I don't suppose Biscuit will get a quiet moment for some time.

Right now, he's curled up on my lap as I write this, quietly snoozing away after an adventure we'll never get to hear about. 

Shame. We'd really like to know what happened.

Fit for purpose

Something that's fit for purpose, is something that actually does what it is supposed to do.

We have all heard the recent news about VW and the fact that their cars are not actually doing that. They're deficient in some way and this is set to cost the company millions.

But what about other products that are advertised to do something and don't?

Ronseal advertise their products with the phrase, "Does exactly what it says on the tin", and it does.

I wish that could be applied to all products, but sadly, this is not the case, as I have found out.

My experience however, has not been with Ronseal - my experiences with their products are that their claims are true: their products do exactly what they suggest they will.

No, my recent experience concerns McAfee's Virus protection software.

It's a sad fact of life that we all need virus protection on our computers, as malware, viruses and other malevolent code can attack our computers at any time.

These attacks can cause all sorts of problems, as most of us have documents, photos, videos and many other files on our computers that we hold dear and on top of those, we also have information regarding our banking, mortgages, taxes and much more personal information, none of which we can do without, and none of which we want falling into the hands of the unscrupulous elements who would wish to steal our identities.

So when you're looking for a virus protection program, which one do you opt for? Do you opt for something you haven't heard of or do you choose something that is recommended to you?

If you're like me, you'll do a little surfing and find out what other people say about the proprietary and lesser-known brands before you shell out your hard-earned on something you're about to trust to keep all the above-mentioned information safe.

Ironically, I was in two minds whether I opted for McAfee or a free system. Avast came very close to being the chosen program, but I thought that there was no way I could get the same level of protection from something that was free compared to something that all the computers sold nowadays are pre-loaded with; at least on a thirty-day trial basis.

Boning up in this instance didn't help, as the information I found, did not warn me about McAfee's issues with Win XP. In fairness, when I first got McAfee, there wasn't an issue.

Yes, I know. XP is an operating system that has ceased to receive support from Microsoft since April 8th 2014. However, as I have discovered, there are many people who like me, continue to use equipment that cannot be upgraded. It may be old, but it's not obsolete - yet and it does exactly what it says on the tin.

McAfee appear to be in denial that their product and XP are incompatible.

Odd really, as they were quick enough to take my money for the second licence, a fee they upped by nearly 50% in the second year and after their product's issues with XP were discovered.

I of course tried the help - which for this is on-line. The program asked me for my country and preferred language, however, my country is France and my preferred language is English. Sure I can converse in French and understand some technical stuff, but it's easier and quicker for me to get through stuff in English, but McAfee wouldn't let me. Naturally, I discovered nothing.

Sending McAfee a message to let them know that I wasn't happy yielded nothing either. Their customer service never even replied to say they would look into it.

Disappointing.

So in a fit of pique, I decided to delete McAfee from my computer. It told me that I still had a valid subscription, so worried that I may be acting in haste, I cancelled the deletion. Lo and behold, it appeared to cure the issue, the download went ahead and everything was again up-to-date.

At that time, my XP machine was used only occasionally, but in the last few days, we have found need for both and once again, as soon as I'd booted it up, McAfee's program went into overdrive, locking all the resources and preventing me from doing anything.

After leaving it for nine hours to download the updates and having pulled a lot of my now very grey hair from my head, I decided I'd had had enough. I uninstalled McAfee and installed Avast instead. Now my machine runs as sweet as a nut and from what I have discovered, Avast is about the best out there, its free download competing with its subscribed counterparts.

Once McAfee runs out on my other machine, it will be uninstalled and Avast put in its place too.

I have of course sent yet another message to McAfee's customer service people to let them know that I cannot deal with products that are not in my opinion, "Fit for purpose". I told them in no uncertain terms that I wasn't happy with the level of service or treatment I have received from them or the way product has failed to work on so many levels. I told them that I would not be renewing my subscription - which went through automatically earlier this year - so this time don't even think about taking my subscription.

I even received a reply this time.

They had disabled automatic payment.

That's the only good thing they have done. They have not - like other companies - asked if there was any way they could improve the service or if they could change my mind, so I can only think they really don't care.

In all honesty, McAfee has kept my machine safe, but I believe I am well rid of this overpriced piece of junk. Okay, it might protect my PC, but it hogs resources and becomes intrusive, preventing normal use of the PC, which I consider poor. In addition, they should have been more forthcoming regarding my XP machine, but instead, they said nothing. I cannot think of a more user unfriendly program and I have been using computers since the days of DOS.

In short, in my opinion. it really isn't fit for purpose.

Google and the English spell-checker

I have always liked Google. I use their search engine and their browser and here I am using their space for blogging. My English is reasonably good, but like others, I often suffer from 'Digital Dyslexia'.

This is where I think my fingers are hitting one key, when in fact, they have hit the wrong key and then end up with a typo.

Up until a little while ago, I used to be able to spot this easily, which is fortunate, because it happens with boring regularity and the faster I type, the more often it occurs.

You can imagine my dismay when I discovered that my spelling was being highlighted when in fact, I hadn't spelt anything incorrectly. In fact, as I sit here, Google in its infinite wisdom has decided to highlight 'spelt', yet my use of this word is not incorrect.

Spelt definition: a simple past tense and past participle of 'spell'

So what's wrong with it?

I think Google is trying to remove British English from the internet - invented by an Englishman, by the way - and has removed British English from its spell checker.

Now I realise this is a free service (realise in English does not have a 'Z', but an 'S'), but I don't understand why British English should be removed. They haven't removed French, German or any of the other languages from their spell checker.

I've said this before and it looks as if I will have to say it again: American English is no longer the same as British English.

• We do not have sidewalks, but pavements. We walk on pavements, we don't (or shouldn't) drive on them.
• We do not have windshields, we have windscreens.
• Knickers are forms of feminine underwear and pants are the male form.
• Fenders are not car bumpers, but the plastic or rope things that hang off the side of boats.
• Trunks are large cases and boots are what Americans call trunks.
• A bonnet is what you open to see the engine and a hood goes over your head.
• If you are tired, it means you lack energy and would like to sleep, it doesn't mean that you have a new set of radials. Those are tyres (which the spell checker has again marked as incorrect).
• The man dragged the body out, he didn't drug it out. A Drug is a medicine or other substance which has a physiological effect when ingested or otherwise introduced into the body.
• The man dived into the water, he didn't dove into the water. A dove is a bird.

As you can see with the few examples above, British English differs from American English in numerous ways and therefore should be treated as a separate language. America is not the only English speaking country in the world, in fact, they are only a small proportion of English speakers and thanks to our 250 year (or so) separation, the American version of English has evolved and not in the same way as British English.

That's your prerogative, America, but let's get this straight. American English is now sufficiently different to British English (or the English that's used in the rest of the world), with its own dictionaries etc, that it's high time it was just called American and not English.

In the meantime, Google, can we have our spell checker back, please?

I'm going slightly mad...

For those of you who don't know, my wife and I live in a small village in Normandy, France. By chance, our village is wicked quick for the internet due to the telephone exchange being here.

For that reason, we are having all our electrical and phone feeds changed from above ground to below ground. We will also be getting fibre optic feeds, but that's going to be happening later.

We were informed some time ago that work would begin in September and true to their words, the work began last week and some of the houses and the school round the corner, got the new electrical boxes mounted on the outside of their buildings.

Ours began yesterday, so for about an hour, the man cut a appropriately-sized hole in our wall, to set the box into, his big Kango demolition hammer rattling a number of chunks of plaster off the wall in our kitchen/dining room behind where it will be placed.

We didn't mind, as it was only a small amount and when we spoke to the man himself, he promised that today he would come and repair it. Well, a couple of hours after he saw it, a larger chunk fell off and repairs have been postponed until tomorrow as he didn't have enough plaster to fix the huge chasm that had been exposed.

Meanwhile, work continues and they started next door, working their way up the road and the other buildings. It seems that whatever the next door's facade is made of, he can't get through it and so, from 08:30 this morning, with a ten minute break for coffee about half ten and lunch hour - or portion thereof - the bloke has been trying - unsuccessfully, I fear - to create the recess in the wall to fit the new box.

This means that whilst I have tried desperately to work on the two websites I have to complete, I cannot. For five straight hours - minus the all but brief respites for coffee and lunch - I have been bombarded with the sound of the power tools rattling the walls, floors and windows.

I cannot escape.

Fortunately for Penny, she has had to work out near Gorron, leaving me to here - alone.

Work?? Huh! Fat chance.

You know the sound of the dentists drill? Well this is worse... much worse and much, much louder. Worse still, who knows when it will let up.

The cat's gone bonkers, while I'm just go slightly mad, chewing my fingernails back to my elbows. I'm beginning to feel like Goldie Hawn's character in 'Overboard', wondering whether I too will be going "bub-bub-bub-bub..." by the time Pen returns.

Oh wait...

It's all gone quiet.

Or after five hours and twenty minutes of ear-splitting, teeth rattling noise that could in all likelihood wake the dead, have I gone deaf?

No, it's just quiet.

Hopefully, that will be an end of it, but I'm not counting my chickens...

Yet.

Trying to stop the Windows 10 download - a fool's errand

I didn't think I'd have such an issue with this. Normally if you elect to do something on your PC, there's an, "Are you sure?" dialog with "Yes" and "No" buttons below.

Sadly, neither this nor anything close has been the case with this upgrade.

Having discovered that I would lose the software HP installed for me on my PC, as well as other applications I'm sure, I'd also lose the ability to use very important hardware without trying to find alternative software, With that in mind, I elected to forego the upgrade to Windows 10.

I don't think there's anything wrong with this edition of Microsoft's operating system. In fact, from what I've seen, it's actually better than the versions that have appeared since Windows 7, but for me, it would be too much of an upheaval. I don't feel that in this instance, an upgrade is actually an improvement over what I currently have and therefore, I have been looking for a means by which to respectfully decline Microsoft's kind offer.

According to Microsoft, I can cancel the reservation at any time, but for the life of me, I cannot find out how. Every attempt I have made to ascertain just where to find the, "Cancel reservation" button, has only led me to an FAQ page or a page where I need to sign up to the Microsoft network first.

I just want to opt out, which I can apparently do - according to the Microsoft bs - at any time.

How?

I did what the instructions on the FAQ told me to do and this is what I got.

Now, I know my eyesight is not 20-20, but I can't see any cancel reservation option on this window at all.

Perhaps I'm missing something; perhaps I'm not as bright as I'd like to think I am, but opting out at any time is not what I'm faced with here and getting in touch with the giant corporation is about as easy as flying unaided.

Now I'm really not trying to cause trouble here, but in all the blurb I've read, (including the piece shown to the right on Microsoft's How to upgrade to Windows 10 webpage) this should be a piece of cake, but it's not turning out that way at all and if I could contact Microsoft, this would be entirely unnecessary.

So, their advertising suggests that Windows 10 will be painless and is free, yet the truth is far from painless.

• All manufacturer installed OEM software will be removed from your PC upon upgrade or installation as might some other programs 
• You can't hide the windows icon from the system tray unless you do it every time you boot up 
• You can't cancel your product reservation.

I'm more than a little apprehensive that if I can't cancel my reservation, will I be able to stop the installation or upgrade? So much of what Microsoft have said has been incorrect and now I fear for my PC - something I rely on on a daily basis.

There is only so far I can go and I really need some reassurance that all will be well - something I'm really not feeling right now.

Damn you, Microsoft!

Windows 10 free upgrade? I don't think so

I have just been informed that I can have a free upgrade from Windows 7 to Windows 10, when it's ready to be rolled out.

Yippee! I thought, but then wondered what the catch was.

At first glance, Microsoft's blurb looked really enticing. I didn't know how long it would last, so I agreed to agree to the upgrade - after all, it was free.

However, you don't usually get something for nothing, so what was the cost?

Well, having just seen Kingsman, you can understand my skepticism. When some big corporation gives away their product, mass panic, violent attacks, death and heaps of messiness ensues.

Okay, so that's fiction, but what would happen if I upgraded?

According to The Verge, Windows 10 upgrade won't mess with what's already on the PC... except for Media Player and Media Centre.

One of the only reasons I bought the PC I did was because of the TV tuner card that was fitted and Windows 7 provided a good system for watching and recording TV broadcasts.

All that will go, unless I find some other software to replace Media Centre. Microsoft are removing it as people use it for DVD playback and they will provide a downloadable app for that, which would be free.

Nice of them to think of those who use it to control our TV cards, isn't it?

But that's all, right?

According to Microsoft, media player and media centre will be removed during the upgrade, as will certain games pre-installed on 7, however, a Solitare program and Microsoft Minesweeper will replace them.

And that's not all.

Here's what Microsoft actually say:

• Applications, files and settings will migrate as part of the upgrade, however some applications or settings may not migrate.
• For Anti-virus and Anti-malware applications, during upgrade Windows will check to see if your Anti-virus or Anti-malware subscription is current. Windows will uninstall your application while preserving your settings. After upgrade is complete, Windows will install the latest version available with the settings that were set prior to upgrade. If your subscription is not current, upgrade will enable Windows defender.
• Some applications that came from your OEM may be removed prior to upgrade.
• For certain third party applications, the “Get Windows 10” app will scan for application compatibility. If there is a known issue that will prevent the upgrade, you will be notified of the list of applications with known issues. You can choose to accept and the applications will be removed from the system prior to upgrade. Please be sure to copy the list before you accept the removal of the application.

Having ready this, things were beginning not to sound quite so sunny.

I decided that perhaps this upgrade wasn't for me; perhaps I'd jumped the gun and seen 'free' as 'friendly', but it turns out that I'm one of perhaps a few who don't see the upgrade as being of benefit to me personally.

I went to the FAQ page and discovered that there's no harm done, I can unreserve my download of Windows 10 upgrade on the app.

Oh wait! No I can't.

The FAQ page is wrong. There is nowhere to click, fill in or communicate otherwise if you change your mind, despite what it says in the screen shot above.

Not only that, but the annoying and useless windows logo that I inherited in this drive to upgrade as many unsuspecting people as possible, should be able to be hidden.

Well, that's true ... until you restart your computer and there it is again.

Well done Microsoft. You've screwed up again.

In my opinion, if like me, you've grown accustomed to your Windows 7 based PC or laptop and you are running older programs, such as MS Office 2003, then don't upgrade. Your office suite will not be compatible and you'll either have to install Open Office or buy a newer version of MS Office.

There may well be numerous other programs that fall into that category too and while Microsoft may want to try and get ahead of the game, there are no guarantees that you won't have to shell out a whole heap more dosh to replace those programs you bought with more up-to-date releases.

In my book, that means that this upgrade is far from free. It's certainly not free of headaches and that alone should be a warning if nothing else.

Oh and by the way, if anyone from Microsoft is reading this, please un-reserve my copy and I really don't want my PC tied up with a 3gig download for something I don't want anywhere near my computer.